Dawn's Lament
by IndySolo221
Summary: After seeing Buffy's sacrifice for her, Dawn confides in Spike, despite his grieving. Will the Scoobies be able to take care of her during Buffy's absence? What will happen now that the Slayer is gone?


Dawn kept reliving the same scene over and over. Her sister was jumping from that familiar tall tower which Dawn herself had been tied to. She jumped, and the portal enveloped her body. All for Dawn. Every night she would see it over and over again. Until finally, she would wake up, crying. She continued in her daily activities so that Willow and Tara wouldn't worry about her, but deep inside, she was taking it hard. In fact, all the Scoobies were. Anya tried to make everyone feel better, but it only made them feel worse. Giles was trying his best to patrol on his own, but he'd always come back with bruises and gashes. Willow, Tara, and Xander tried to be as positive as possible, but Dawn knew they were hurting. She could tell by the way Willow stuttered and changed clothes constantly that she was upset. Anya would say something wrong and Xander would frown at her, as if it was his way of silencing her. And Dawn hated it.

She felt as though she could speak to no one about how she felt. She was afraid that, if she tried, they would swarm her and make her feel even more uncomfortable. She knew that they loved her, and wanted the best for her, but sometimes they tried too hard. They would have 'special nights' where the Scooby group would come over and watch movies or play games. Xander would go out of his way to buy her something or get her ice cream, but those things only gave her temporary satisfaction. She wanted her sister back. She wanted Buffy.

And yet, in all of this, sometimes she felt guilty. Her sister was the Slayer; she played an important role in life. And yet she sacrificed her life for Dawn, a fifteen-year-old who had nothing to do with saving the world. For all she knew, her purpose was to destroy the world. All she had been was a device that needed to be protected. A part of Glory's great idea to rule the world. And Buffy died for her.

She pondered it constantly in her head until she couldn't take the pressure anymore. But where was she to go? And why was it so hard to talk to Xander or Willow, or even Tara? She knew what they were feeling. The only person she, and the rest of the Scooby Gang hadn't heard from was Spike. No one had seen him since the day Buffy died, and Xander had assumed that it was because she was no longer around. Dawn knew it had to be more than that. He clearly must've been crushed when Buffy died, because he loved her. Dawn knew he did. She had to admit that she was a little jealous at first, but Spike was a vampire. In all technicality, neither Dawn nor Buffy should've had contact with him. But she didn't care. She liked being around the blonde vamp, as much as it peeved her sister.

That's where she would go. To Spike's crypt. Surely he wouldn't mind, or would he?

Dawn pounded on the crypt door. "Spike, can I come in? Spike?" She raised her ear to the door, but she heard nothing.

She waited. After a few seconds, the vampire came to the door. His lifeless body carried the stench of smoke and alcohol. She could see where the gashes on his face had slowly begun to heal themselves. He was wearing his usual black shirt with his pants and boots, but his jacket that he wore so often was missing. "What do you-"

He stopped, and a surprised expression appeared on his face. "Little Bit, come on in." He sounded slightly drunk, but Dawn assumed that most of the alcohol had wore off. She walked in. "The place is a mess, but I guess it's fine." After she sat, he stopped and looked back at her. "What do you need?" he asked.

"I- uh..." she had completely forgot what she was going to say. In fact, she hadn't known what she was going to say in the first place. And Spike was growing impatient.

"Well, love? You gonna talk or what?" Dawn bowed her head and a tear fell down her face.

"I- I can't stand being over there any more. They're all so quiet, and sad, and...I don't know how to tell them what I feel. I want to tell them that I'm okay, but..." she gulped, and looked back up.

Spike's head was low, and there was a grim expression on his face. He looked worn, and tired, and sad. But he said nothing. She reached up to touch his face and continued, "Your head...it's healing."

He sighed. "I know how you feel, Little Bit. You wake up every day from what little rest you get and you can't wait to see her. But the closest thing you ever get is that stupid Bot."

They sat quietly for a few minutes, and both of them somewhat enjoyed each other's company. "Can I stay here?" Dawn asked. He was quiet for a minute and she was afraid he would refuse, until he nodded. He moved to the couch and turned on the television. She joined him, and they sat together in the darkness of the crypt. Soon she fell asleep, and Spike left her on the couch where they had sat. Right before he crawled into bed he gently laid his jacket over her body. And he was thankful for someone who felt the same as he.


End file.
